We all love to play armchair GM, right? I mean, it’s an easy job. You just spend all of the owner’s limitless supply of cash, and you only sign talented, sure-thing players, and you never get saddled with bad contracts for poor performing players. Simple. We could all do it.

You feel me? Dan Duquette’s job is hard. He couldn’t even effectively drop it, to become the big man in Toronto! But in this case, I’m going to play armchair GM. Here are the trades I would have made for Alejandro De Aza:

 

1. Complete the Draft

The Orioles selected pitcher Jason Garcia from the Red Sox in the Rule 5 draft. Since then, they have tried to stash him away in the bullpen, and when that didn’t go well, they stashed him away on the disabled list. That is a nice trick, but it only lasts so long. Eventually, the Orioles will have to pay the piper for an inflexible roster and a guy in Jason Garcia who does not look ready for The Show.

So easy solution: trade Alejandro De Aza to the Red Sox for the full rights to Jason Garcia. The Orioles would be able to put Garcia in the minors and allow him to fully develop, and they’d empty a logjam of crappy, overpaid outfielders.

This makes too much sense, right? Fine. Let’s see what else they could have gotten from Boston:

 

2. Backsies on the Eduardo Rodriguez Trade

You know what? In retrospect, that whole ‘dealing from a position of depth for a chance to make a deep run in the playoffs’ thing doesn’t seem as prudent now. Oh, sure, it looked good in 2014. And it looked great when Andrew Miller put guys away wearing the Orange and Black. But… watching Rodriquez’s rise to the Red Sox rotation makes me queasy.

So let’s just give them Alejandro De Aza, and they’ll give us Eduardo Rodriguez back. Totally fair. We didn’t know we’d want him, and I’m sure the Red Sox will be fine with it.

 

3. Pound of Flesh

Too far? OK, here’s one: how about we give Boston Alejandro De Aza in return for having David Ortiz buy new phones for the visiting dugout and issue a public apology. Is a little public shaming for an immature act so much to ask for? I think that it’s certainly worth the services of an outfielder who struggles to get on base. Both sides will get something that won’t really help the situation, and will most likely only lead to further frustration.

 

4. Attendance

The Orioles have played in a fan-less game, but what I really want is for them to play a game without Red Sox fans. So here’s the deal: the Orioles hand over Alejandro De Aza in exchange for the Red Sox encouraging their fans not to come to Camden Yards. The days of that fan base providing a much-needed boom to the Orioles’ bottom line is a thing of the past (unless the team continues its lackluster 2015). Without the need to pander to those fans, I think we can all agree that the games are much more enjoyable without them.

 

 

OK, that might have wandered a little off the rails, there, but I still would have asked. Duquette got rid of a guy who wasn’t going to help the Orioles. No matter what he got, it resolved an untenable roster situation. I am a little surprised that Boston chose to give something up for him, rather than waiting for De Aza to hit waivers.

It’s a shame that things didn’t work out better for De Aza, here in Baltimore. De Aza slashed .293/.341/.537/.877 in 89 at bats after being acquired from the Chicago White Sox. What’s more, his bases-clearing triple in the game that would become known as Clinchmas endeared him to many.

But it was not to be. De Aza was practically handed the started left field job (and leadoff spot) in 2015, and could not claim them as his own, with “tough” competition like David Lough and Travis Snider.

Yikes. Maybe Dan got all he could when he got cash coming back in the deal. Maybe this GM stuff is harder than it looks. Maybe I should leave it to the professionals.