What to Do Until Game Time?

In Baltimore, the 2014 MLB playoffs will officially begin at 5:37pm, when the AL East Champion Baltimore Orioles take on the Detroit Tigers in Game 1 of the ALDS.

HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WAIT THAT LONG?!

If you’re anything like me, focus on work is a sham at best. So how should we be spending out time. Here’s a little cheat sheet:

1. Hit refresh again. Wherever it is you get your Orioles news online (might we suggest our friends at Baltimore Sports Report?), surely someone will post something soon. And again. And again.
2. Listen to Orioles Magic on repeat for at least a solid hour.
3. Pour over the recently released Orioles’ ALDS roster, and decide who is most likely to break your heart and/or restore your faith in the universe.
4. Plan your celebrations after an Orioles win. Gary Thorne reminds you to “drink… responsibly.”
5. Plan your sorrow drowning after that other possible outcome.
6. Pace, uncontrollably.
7. Find a Tigers message board and go make trouble.
8. Start obsessing.  If  you’re going to the game, plan your route and  your parking. If you’re not, plan your game-time location, and more importantly, food spread.
9. Start negotiating with a higher power. If that fails, see if that higher power’s chief competitor will make you a better offer.
10. Take it all in. Back in 1997, we couldn’t possibly have known it would be so long before our next AL East championship. Savor the moment. The nervous excitement may be agony, but it’s an agony we’ve been waiting a long time to experience.